The Rise ....and The Fall...!!!

I do not know the distance from Solan to Seattle. But what I have definitely known since childhood that it’s a land of dreams. It’s a land which honors individual mettle and not family linage. It’s a land which does not bother about intruding into your personal space, unlike in Solan where your every move, especially if you are a young girl in early twenties, is for public consumption and moral scrutiny. I always knew I was made for that "Other Land". My presence here in Solan is just transitory. So when I first got a job which involved speaking and connecting with the citizens of that “Other Land”, even though just over the phone, I knew this was my calling...this was where I always belonged. My father did not have much to say as always. More so it was one less mouth to feed and one extra bottle of Solan Strong that he can now afford.

In no time I packed my bags and landed in my city of dreams, Chandigarh; or at least the city which will help me get closer to my dreams.

Now Chandigarh is a modern city with modern people almost like my dream “Other Land”. It accepts outsider with an Open Hand, true to its mascot, as long as you are part of its “Chic Crowd”. It wasn’t difficult for me as I was always meant for bigger things, you see! All I had to do was to replace my Old fashioned Solan clothes with some Body Hugging tops and some low waist jeans, put some twang in my Hinglish and wash my hair with some strange chemicals to give it a glam auburn hue. And yes, I had to take my hair out of its natural shape (which was any which ways very outdated) and straighten it! Though its cost was slightly above my budget but then I needed to prepare for the “Other Land” anyways.

Soon I found myself amidst a big circle of friends. They had big cars, shining clothes and always smelled good. Life was a never ending party for them. How generous and forward looking their parents were! My mind drifted back to my humble setup in Solan with my father’s expressionless face staring at me. I snapped back!


My job was equally cool. The crowd was mostly of my age and quite a few of them doubled up as my friend circle outside. But I was very choosy about who I went out with. After all I was meant for bigger things and couldn’t afford to be seen with below standard people.

Though staying awake whole night to talk to ever complaining customers was slightly irritating, however the after shift parties which we had at some of our friends places, more than compensated for the same. At times even my manager used to join us. He was single and good looking and I think he had some inclinations towards me. I never complained about the extra attention as it always ended in some additional favors at the work place. Who would’t like attention and I was anyways an attractive young girl who had arrived! All he asked for was to share some innocent drinks with him and join in for some dance. Initially I didn’t like the taste of the drinks and the body touching moves. But I was determined to outgrow my “small town girl” tag. Very soon I became a connoisseur of both drink and dance. Now I could down more pegs than most present at the parties. I was the focal point of all these do’s.

The words of Savita Mausi faintly echoed in my ears. She was once telling my mother about the stories she had heard about the reckless and wanton life these “Call center” people lead. I am sure she was jealous of my achievements. I was thoroughly enjoying my moments. Life was definitely in the fast lane.

And fast lane it indeed was. I felt my days increasingly becoming incomplete without a drink or two. Was I getting addicted? Absolutely not! On the contrary people in the “Other Land” consider it to be healthy to have a glass or two daily. Even my manger said so. How backward we Indians are still! My manger was becoming more of a Knight in Shining Armor for me. Only the other day he almost took me in his arms and drove me back home! I was told later that I reached office with red eyes and was almost tipsy. Not only did he drive me back safely, but also he made some new drink for me! Though it felt strange but I was in the seventh heaven after that. On asking, all he said, I was in the big league now. “So sweet of him...” I was thoroughly enjoying his intimate touches that day…

Life really moved into the big league thereafter. I started going to bigger parties. With louder music and brighter psychedelic lights. There were a lot many newer faces who all wore a strange far away expressions. We started going out of town to attend these parties. I was told they were very exclusive and only selected people were allowed in. I found few white skinned people from “the Other Land” in those parties. I was head over heels about my manager to have helped me come up to this level. Regular drinks started boring me. I took to higher and classier things. My manager told me they were Party Mood Boosters and I had all the reasons to believe him. I used to dance like crazy for hours after those bouts. “The Other Land” was increasingly getting nearer to me.

Sooner than I realize I had almost given up on drinking and gradutated to the classier thing. I was increasingly getting dependent on my manger for the constant supply. He was sweet enough to be always with my side. Very soon he promised me to take to a party I had never been in my life over one of the extended weekends. I was feeling so lucky to have him in my life. I couldn’t wait for that weekend.

On that day he suggested we would go uphill. After about a couple of hours of drive I found myself in the most breathtaking natural surroundings amidst lush green deep forest somewhere up in the Himachal hills. He said it’s the venue for one of the most exclusive parties where most of the guests were foreigners. I was extremely thrilled. I could feel the thumping beat of the music coming from somewhere above. We moved to a small clearing by a small stream and found around seventy odd people, mostly from the “Other Land”, swaying to the beats of loud music in a trance. None of them seemed to have noticed us. One local guy approached my manager. Without uttering a single word He gestured towards a small hut behind a huge tree. We moved inside. There were few people lounging inside. All of them seemed to be high on the magic substance which I have already graduated to. I was thrilled. Soon I found myself amongst those dancing outside. Even though we had daylight outside, I felt thousand bulbs flashing in my eyes. I was floating in the air. It was heaven. The crowd around me swayed with increased vigor with the tempo of the music. I could see nothing but streaks of light around me and some blurry faces.

I was really flying. Soon I realized I was being pulled aside and inside the hut. I felt a heavy weight on me and some hands working vigorously on my body. My eyes were wide awake but my mind was far away. I could feel the heavy breath of my manager on my face. I felt a strange sensation inside my body I never felt before. I was still dancing and swaying to the beats outside…

I didn’t know how long I was inside the hut. But my eyes opened when I heard a commotion outside. There seemed a lot of people shouting and running around. Suddenly few men in uniform rushed inside the room and dragged my manger aside. I tried to get up but couldn’t. Though I was awake but was blank. Only few broken pictures and sounds crossed my mind like the clippings of a fast paced movie. I could hear those uniformed men shouting at my manager, which soon turned into a conversation and then hushed whisper. They were all looking at me. I saw my manager moving out of the room leaving me with those men. For the next few moments, I didn’t know for how long, I was again transported to a different world. Even in my half awake stage I could feel my body being tossed around, being scratched, being nibbled at, being abused. The pain inside was unbearable…..then everything was blank.

When I opened my eyes next, I was in the car with my manager. Neither of us spoke. I could not even bear to look at myself. The whole body was tearing apart. I could hear him mumbling, “I am sorry I had no other way out..” I closed my eyes again.


I still don’t know the distance from Solan to Seattle. But sitting in my father’s two room tenement in Solan, I was wondering whether the price I paid worth it…?

If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Rudyard Kipling

Soul Stirring Experience..

My deep thought process while strolling back home from the local grocery shop was broken by a half muted call. Initially I ignored, thinking it to be one of those numerous cacophony around me. However its persistence forced me to turn around, only to find a lean underfed overworked man in bleached blue uniform half smiling at me. I was mildly irritated with this unwanted intrusion to my private world.

I dragged myself to him with a quiver on my eyebrows. He was stading at my neighbours gate seemingly for sometime, trying to locate a soul around. His one hand holding an assortment of envelopes and with the other trying to brush off the grime and dust from his face. I slowly motioned towards him mentally cursing the publice parasite that he is, feasting on public funds.

He enquired about the occupants of the yellow house with a concern non existent in a public termite. Now to be honest, in my last four years of existence in this neighbourhood, I don't even remember the face of my next door neighbour let alone knowing their names and the least...their whereabouts. The irriation was now apparent on my face. He was unpurturbed. His anxiety was palpable on his face which was so very uncommon for a parasite. I am so used to their nonchalant brooding faces. He insisted that today was the Rakshabandhan and that Mr. Khanna (till then I didn't even know the surname of my neighbour) must be waiting for this "Precious Gift"all day long, that if he could not deliver this Rakhi to him today, gesturing at the blue colored envelope in his hand, Mr. Khanna would be deeply pained, that he will be responsible for the breaking of the hearts of a sister and brother duo seperated by the pangs of modern day living, that his professional commitment to serve his customer will be dented forever. He almost begged me to accept the package on his behalf and help him redeem his professional pride. ...

The words trailed off from me. I was almost dumbfounded. I could not believe what I was experiencing. A simple Parasite, who I always loathed for being everything Unprofessionalism stood for, demonstated a grassroot level, matter-of -fact compassion for Professional Excellence which even a Harvard studied, Jack Welch fed professional will find hard to macth! A World Class Customer Commitement, delivered in such an unadulturated manner, yet so profound so deep. His eyes glimmered with the satisfaction achieved by a task well accomplished. He rode off on his rickety bicycle with an amazing grace, Profusely thanking me for helping him in his professional commitment.

I was humbled. A professional with a mutlnational organisation, who always thought, true meaning of professional commitment can only be learnt with a simulated training module, prepared by some World Leading Expert. Customer commitment can only be learnt if one has attendeded or read the motivational sermons of New Age Gurus.

Slowly realisation dawned to me. I mumbled to myself, "India, this century belongs to you....", still clutching the blue envelope in my hand....